Is the world on fire?

I can’t watch the news because I don’t honestly understand what’s going on in the world around me.

I can’t scroll Facebook or Instagram or Reddit because I don’t honestly understand what’s going on in the digital world around me.

Airplanes are falling from the skies and crashing but my news feed says air travel is safer than ever. Thousands of people are losing their jobs but this is necessary to save money, despite the millions spent to pay for people to tell the country we’re wasting money. Only the amendment which grants gun ownership is actually solid in our constitution, the rest have always been negotiable.

Facts aren’t facts and opinions are facts.

The truth never mattered anyway, and I can see that for what it is now.

A con man is leading the country I love in a direction I can’t stand behind. The people around me are in various states of aware, awake, and asleep.

I am aware. I know something sinister is going on around me but I can’t quite grasp it. I see the signs. I know things don’t add up. But is it really what it appears or is somethign much worse going on? I’ve been hearing rumors…

Some people are awake, which I would equate to having a firm grasp on the reality of what’s going on, not just what their political party aligns with.

And asleep would be the sheep blindly continuing to follow their political platforms, false idols, and well-worn hateful rhetoric.

Every day, I wake up with a soul-crushing weight on my chest that I can’t shake. The feeling that everything is wrong and there’s nothing I can do about it. Who am I? I’m nobody.

According to our president, I’m less than nobody. I’m a pansexual polyamorous single woman with borderline personality disorder, complex PTSD, dissociative identity disorder, anxiety, autism (suspected), depression, and a history of traumatic brain injuries.

So when I tell you that I don’t understand, please accept that even though I am highly educated and intelligent, my mental health conditions make it impossible for me to get a solid grasp on reality.

I feel like I’m living in an action movie but I have no idea who the good guys and the bad guys are. At this point, I suspect they are all bad guys. If that’s the case, who are the good guys?

Because there have to be good guys, right?

Right?