Happy Holidays!

I’m currently on a two-week winter break from college. It’s a much needed break. As last term ended, I was refreshing my brightspace classroom often, watching for final scores to be posted. My 4.0 GPA hanging precariously in the air. When the dust of the term settled, my GPA still sits at 4.0. I’m eternally grateful for amazing scores on my final projects.

You see, I’m overly critical of my own work, to a fault. I can make sure all of the required elements are in the paper, and then some, but it still never seems good enough to me.

It’s this behavior that prevents me from making swift progress on my novel projects. I’m currently writing a thousand words a day for the romance project, “Second Chance.” At the current pace, the novel might actually be done by Valentine’s Day, though it is centered around Christmas.

I want so desperately to publish my first novel and get over that massive hurdle. But I am terrified that it won’t be very good. Severe anxiety keeps me from realizing my dreams, I know that. To date, I can push those worries aside by saying the story isn’t ready yet. Someday, though, the story will have to be ready. What excuse will I give then to keep from publishing? Thanks to my courses at SNHU, I know what my publishing options are and how to achieve that dream. I may still sabatoge myself, as humans do, because I am afraid of success and failure. My stories are my babies, and I’m quite afraid the world won’t love them as much as I do.

Well, now that I have rambled on about my problems, I hope you are all enjoying your holiday breaks. Stay safe out there and stay connected in whatever way you can. Whether COVID is keeping you home or you are out about with your friends, respect those around you and the choices they have made. In the crazy world we are living in today, if we can’t respect each other, how can we possibly respect ourselves?

Cheers!

Cathy

Published by cathymariebown

I am a writer and student looking for my place in the digital world.

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