i never loved

i wasn’t committed

even though I was in it

i loved you

but I always kept you

at a distance

never healed from the first one

to trample my heart

i never gave us a chance

but I didn’t want

to let you go

afraid of what’s next

the demons of my past

lurk

in the shadows

waiting for their turn

on the couch of my mind

i loved you

but

i never

loved me

cathy marie welton

Author’s Note: This poem was written sometime between 2015-2020.

It’s always interesting to me to see how far I’ve come in my writing and also how similar some situations remain. Love is my greatest weakness but also my greatest strength. Despite the pain, I am ever the optomist when it comes to love.