Free- a poem

Hopelessness is consuming me tonight, so I decided to try the crisis line. The woman on the other end told me she understood, but she wasn’t really listening. I feel like I’m screaming at the world, begging it to listen, but nobody can hear me. I have become the invisible woman. Since nothing is working, I will put my words here. I’ve written a poem that I want to share. To truly experience its meaning, you need to zoom out, so all of the lines fit on your screen completely. If you look closely and with your heart instead of your eyes, I’ve made a self-portrait for you.

When you look back on these days

I hope you know I loved you

I hope you know I tried

All I ever wanted was

to be exactly what

you needed

what

you

desired

you craved

what you wanted

But it didn’t matter because

I could never be good enough.

I could never be pretty enough.

I could never be smart enough.

I could never be sweet enough.

I could never be funny enough.

I could never be happy enough.

I could never be cool enough.

I could never be hot

I could never be

Enough

Perfect

Alive

Real

Free